She Thought She Could. So, She did.
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What the Hell Happened?
You’ve finished chemo, the ink on your divorce papers is dry, or you’ve lost the love of your life. Maybe you’re struggling with alcohol. Or you feel like a failure and you’re full of fear and uncertainty. Whatever your wake-up call is, your life has changed and you’re not sure where to go from here.
My name is Nancy McKay, and I know how you feel.
I coach women over 50 who are going through a major transition and wonder what the hell happened. They feel lost and afraid because they don’t know what their future looks like. I help them figure out how to feel happy and at peace with their life.
My trip down the rabbit hole began when my Dad died in 2007, the year I turned 50. His death was a shock but really a long time in the making because he was an alcoholic, who couldn’t or wouldn’t do what was necessary to stay sober. He tried recovery on more than one occasion, but finally succumbed to the disease by calling it a day. His suicide, and my finding him, escalated my drinking into a whole new realm.
While I was always a “party girl,” I was mostly responsible (sort of). I never had any consequences from my drinking — no lost job, no DUI, no trips to the hospital. I tried like hell to keep it together, I was juggling my kitchen and bath design business along with a couple of other gigs, but I was falling apart and my drinking was so unpredictable it led me to the brink of ending my own life.
A really bad day…
Friday the 13th of March, 2009 was a really bad day, which pretty much ended with a bang. Thank God my lack of skills with a gun proved to be a benefit rather than a tragedy. At any rate, I got scared sober, and was devastated to realize that I couldn’t drink safely anymore. I thought my life was over and I would never have fun again. What I soon learned was I was standing at the intersection of desperation and grace.
Imagine my surprise that I started feeling better and I actually did have fun. Unfortunately, my kitchen and bath business was failing along with the custom home market. And a year or so after I got sober I was lucky enough to return to the oil and gas business after a fourteen year hiatus. I was happy, earning a good living and everything for the most part was going along fine, thank you very much. And then, as life does, it detoured a bit.
One morning in November of 2014 I doubled over in excruciating pain. Thinking I was having an appendicitis attack, my husband Jimmy rushed me to the ER in a terrible snow storm. The results of the ultra-sound showed a fibroid tumor on my right ovary and I was told to make an appointment with my Gynecologist. When I anxiously saw her the next day, she was unphased by my concern, nor could she read the scan. She condescendingly said “Nancy, fibroids rarely turn to cancer but if it makes you feel better, we can do a follow up ultra-sound in two months. In January, four days after the follow-up test, I received a call from my doctor telling me I had a mass on my right ovary and she was referring me to a gynecological oncologist. The three weeks or so between that phone call and my hysterectomy were the most difficult of my life.
On my 58th birthday I was diagnosed with Stage IC ovarian cancer. I was not planning on going through the strongly prescribed chemo treatments (I saw what chemo did to my mom twenty years earlier and I wasn’t going down that road). Then one day I changed my mind – all of a sudden it just seemed like the right thing to do and I knew I would be fine.
During chemo, I lost my hair but I found something so much more important – my inner strength. Through these challenging, life changing events, I became acutely aware that life is short and I began my internal work in earnest. This work helped me realize that I wanted my life and career to move in a different direction and my quest to become a Life Coach began in 2017.
I know what it’s like to feel completely devastated. I know how it feels to almost destroy everything and everyone around you. I know what it feels like to wait for what feels like an eternity for a diagnosis. I know that gut wrenching fear. I know.
Life gets so much better…
I realized that my perspective changed and that if I wanted something different in my life it was up to me to make the necessary changes. I have, and still am, making those changes. I didn’t get sober and survive cancer to be miserable. I have found my voice, sometimes to my husband’s chagrin! I’m feisty, I have a tendency to talk like a sailor (I used to drink like one), and I wear a bracelet that states, in no uncertain terms, “Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat”. I don’t always live up to that mantra, but that’s life—one step at a time. Progress not perfection.
I truly believe that things happen for a reason. If I had not gotten sober or faced cancer, I wouldn’t be writing this now.
Now, I’m in my sixties and I’ve never felt so excited about life. I’ve spent the last couple of years building on my strength. I’ve learned that my story inspires other women. I’ve retired from being an employee and I’m “rewiring” my new career as a Life Coach. Something I would never have imagined five years ago. I’m creating my future and it’s going to be amazing.
I’ve come out on the other side and you can too.
My Amazing Outlook
I named my company Amazing Outlook Coaching because I’ve always had just that—an amazing outlook on life. I’ve always known that there’s something bigger than me, call it what you’d like, Universe, God, The Almighty, whatever. But I’ve had the faith that life is meant to be joyful and fulfilling and ought to feed your soul.
I’ve been awarded my certification as a Mind-Body-Eating Coach from The Institute for the Psychology of Eating. And I’m currently working towards my certification as a Life Coach with Martha Beck Institute. This training has been life altering for me and I love sharing this work.
Today, I help women who have gone through something that rocks their world and don’t know what the hell to do. I can help you find what really lights you up and what doesn’t. I’ll show you how to let go of the bad stuff so you can get more of the good stuff.
If you would like to discover your Amazing Outlook, just click on the button below to schedule a free discovery call to learn how!