Are You Curious Like I Was?
A little nervous and curious…
When I noticed that my drinking was increasing and verging on abusive, I became a little nervous, but more than that, I became curious. Curious about who chooses recovery, and why? And when? I started looking for inspiration, motivation and understanding. Many of my friends drank like just like me, or at least I thought they did, but they didn’t seem to be curious or concerned. I wondered why. Of course, I didn’t ask, I wasn’t sure I wanted to really have the conversation.
Just a little more research…
I started buying books about drinking and recovery. I started to read one of them and got nervous – like I had to make a decision right then to quit, so they all went on the shelf for a few more years while I did a little more “research” (code for drinking).
My inner wisdom…
My intuition, my inner wisdom, that inner voice was trying to get my attention, but I chose to ignore it. “It’s not that bad”, “I’m fine”, “I don’t have a problem….” I reassured myself.
The closer I got to my bottom, the more curious I became, and my inner wisdom was getting stronger and louder, much to my dismay.
I couldn’t imagine my life without drinking…
I knew something needed to change, I needed to quit, but I could not imagine my life without chardonnay. My hands shook so bad I had one hell of a time putting on my eyeliner – but by God I was not going to have a drink in the morning to calm the shakes, that would be, well, alcoholic behavior for crying out loud. I just could not face the disgrace of admitting I had a problem with alcohol.
I never had a DUI or an accident while drunk. I hadn’t lost a job because of my drinking (most of my colleagues drank like me too). My father died an alcoholic death – and I wasn’t anywhere near that bad – or so I thought.
The intersection of desperation and grace…
Then on Friday the 13th (of March 2009) I put a gun to my head. Fortunately, the safety was on and when I realized it, the only thing that got shot was an innocent pillow on the bed. I was standing at the intersection of desperation and grace. I haven’t had a drink since.
Are you curious too?
The reason I share about this is that maybe, just maybe, my words will resonate with someone who may be curious about what it is like to quit drinking. And my hope is that they will be curious enough about their relationship with alcohol that they don’t have to hit rock bottom.
The best thing ever…
Quitting drinking was the best thing I have ever done for myself. I am so grateful to be sober. I’m also very lucky and blessed. I have met some of the most incredible people on the road of recovery and I meet more every day. I’ve learned how to live life on life’s terms – one day at a time. I don’t do life anywhere close to perfectly. Some days are better than others, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Without contrast, how would you know what happiness is?
My name is Nancy McKay and I help women who want to explore their relationship with alcohol. Over-drinking is a symptom of a bigger issue, and as a team we uncover the answers together. I have been sober since March 14, 2009 and I’ve been where you are. I found my courage and strength and I guide my clients to discover theirs, too.
Interested to find out if coaching is right for you?
If you’re looking for a coach that will inspire, motivate and empower you AND that knows how you feel – we should talk. Helping women make a shift in their thinking and in their lives thrills me to pieces and drives everything I do.
Here’s what one of my client’s had to say:
“Nancy provided coaching during a challenging time in my life. She listened and shared insight to help me gain perspective. Working with Nancy was amazing! I will be forever grateful.”
Your Life. Your Choice.
I’m here for you when you’re ready…
If you think you’ve had enough, I invite you to choose you, once and for all. See what getting support feels like by scheduling a complimentary assessment call. Click the button below.
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