The Most Important Thing You Can Do to Help You Move Through Your Past
“Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now.”
~ Eckhart Tolle
Forgiveness. Sometimes that’s a bitter pill to swallow. Sometimes someone does something so vile, so horrible, so traumatic that forgiveness seems impossible. I once heard the most amazing story from Sandy Beach, a well-known AA Speaker, about forgiveness. Sandy died in 2014 at the age of 83, with almost 50 years of sobriety.
One day, in Washington DC, Sandy was watching the news. A young man, a straight A student-who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, was shot to death by another young man. A reporter found the slain boy’s mother and stuck a microphone in her face and said, “How do you feel about the boy that killed your son today?” And she said, “I’ve already forgiven him.” The reporter was in shock and Sandy said he was in shock, too. “How do you do that?” This woman was totally at peace with forgiving. It was unbelievable what she did. This event and this amazing woman had such a powerful impact on Sandy that he thought “boy if something like that ever happens to me, I hope I can do the same thing.”
Twenty-five years later, in 2010, his youngest daughter, Barbara, was brutally murdered when she came home from taking her daughter to school. When his middle daughter called to tell him this tragic news, before he hung up the phone, he too, was able to forgive whoever did it. It was complete and forever. He did not have to deal with resentment, anger or hatred. He only had to deal with sorrow.
I’ve had a few things from my past that I’ve needed to forgive. I’ve been able to, some were to forgive other’s, and some were forgiving myself. Certainly nothing as traumatic as the two stories above, but challenging nonetheless. I have found that forgiving and letting things go is one of the most powerful and beneficial things I’ve done for myself.
“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.”
~ Marianne Williamson
Is there someone in your life that could use forgiveness? Especially you? Try it, you won’t be sorry.
Please let me know how you feel about this topic and if you’d like to see more like this in the weeks to come.
My name is Nancy McKay and I coach women, most of them are over 50, who are going though a major transition in their lives and don’t know what the hell happened. They’re feeling lost and afraid because they don’t know what their future looks like. I help them figure out how to feel happy and at peace with their life.
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